Thinking of changing my surname to Galbraith

The post I had planned about JK Rowling has already been written and, I have to say, worded much better than what I would have wrote and that.



http://www.guardian.co.uk/commentisfree/2013/jul/15/jk-rowling-publishing-industry-unknown-writers


Conspiracy or just plain fancied seeing what would happen without her history having an effect? Suppose we'll never know. A few have said the sales were terrible, obviously forgetting that for what appeared to be a first time author, she was never going to hit number one. It is, as the Guardian says, down to advertising. Without a big budget, no one knows the book is out there. There was also a limited amount of self promotion she could do, book signings were out for the obvious reason as well as radio and local newspapers. Without them, 1,500 doesn't sound that bad in terms of sales.

The funniest thing of all (I think) is 99% of bookshops and supermarkets haven't got it in stock. It's zoomed up the kindle chart which realistically is the only way of buying it until the distribution chain swings into action. How quickly can they print 50 or 100,000 of the books though? Or are the conspiracy theorists going to claim there are warehouses full of books waiting for this day as it's been planned well in advance.

The false bio is in some ways disturbing though. I wonder whether it was her idea or the result of some market research that says the best chance of being a crime writer is to be male and ex-forces. Anyone who creates a pen name for whatever reason must go through the same choices. Does being ex-forces or ex-police make you a better writer or a better perceived writer though. 

To be honest, If she'd have come clean at the start I probably wouldn't have bought it. I guess I will read it at some point, but I won't rush out and buy it when it finally does hit the shops.

Queueing (again)

Long time readers of the other blog will maybe remember my feelings about queueing. There's nothing more British than standing in an orderly line, waiting calmly for hours for something you've already paid for. Fantastic fun. Our latest experience of queueing was a visit to Alton Towers last Friday.

It's been a few years since we've gone, and I have to admit I'd forgotten that even though you pay £46.25 for the pleasure of entry, you then have to endure an hour or so queueing with other miserable people in order to enjoy travelling upside down at 30mph for thirty seconds. Great value that.

Of course, the first ride we queued up for broke down after nearly an hour's wait when we were near the front, so we queued up for another two hours to ride their new bone-shaker The Smiler.

Pictures a bit poor I know, but it was actually a good ride. Judging also by my other half's swearing, it had the desired effect on her too in terms of being thrilling etc. After that, and with nearly half the day gone, it did seem like the day would disappear in a series of queues and a few two minute rides. However, the queues disappeared - probably the millions of school kids shipped in for day having to get home. Whatever it was, we managed 5 rides in the remaining 3 hours.

So, any mathematicians may have worked that out to be £7.71 per ride. Add to that the £6 car park fee, the drinks, ice creams etc and you've spent the GDP of a small African country by tea time. And, we got to spend nearly five hours queueing and moaning.

Sarcasm aside though, it was a good day out.

Ten Questions - Darren Sant

Blogger, reviewer, fellow ranter, and writer of the gritty, britty, Longcroft Series, Mr Darren Sant joins us this week to answer ten questions we desperately need answers to.

Kick Start or Crackerjack?

Tricky one. I dig both but if I must nail my colours to the mast....Crackerjack.

What's your latest book The Bank Manager and the Bum about?

Here's an extract from the blurb:

When branch manager Giles Macintosh arrives to open up one morning and finds an injured bum and his battered dog lying in the doorway of the bank, he little suspects what lies in store for them all.

Giles does the decent thing and calls for help, then puts the incident out of his mind. However, having been witness to things he cannot explain, he feels drawn to the man and tries to track him down … only to find he has vanished.

But who is the enigmatic, homeless Frank? Why are two very nasty men trying to find him? Why has a prostitute been abducted? And what does the future hold for Giles’s seriously ill son, Jake?

As the story unfolds, the tension increases and the true nature of Frank’s amazing secret begins to be revealed. The stakes are high as the criminal and the supernatural come together for a final, inevitable showdown.

I suppose it's about hope and not having preconceptions about people because of their social standing.  Like all my fiction I do my best to entertain and I also try to strike a balance between the message and the events.

Little or Large?

Little. The straight men never get enough credit.

When do you write?

Mornings and evening are when my brain seems at its best.

Doner Kebab or Donna Summer?

Doner kebab smeared over Donna Summer. I had that dream once…

Is your writing inspired by real events or does it all come from a dark place in your head?

Most things I write are grounded in some kind of exaggerated version of reality. I think I take more darkness from the news than my own head. Humanity is evil enough in reality.

Lara Croft or Longcroft?

Longcroft!  Available from Amazon for just £1.53...........

Mind you Lara Croft....what lovely bouncy pixels.

Physical book or e-book?

I like both but I read more e-books than physical books these days.

Prisoner Cell block H or H from Steps?

I'd gladly consign both to room 101.

Where can we find you?

In the pub usually! Oh, I see what you mean......

I tweet mainly as @groovydaz39. 

Faceache: https://www.facebook.com/LongcroftTales

My way out of date barely constructed website:

http://darrensant-writer.yolasite.com/

Very short review - Dead Spy Running by Jon Stock

Millhouse from the Simpsons once said, 'This is like Speed 2 except it's on a bus instead of a boat.' Well Dead Spy Running is a bit like both Speed 1 and 2, except it's on foot.

At the start, a man has a bomb strapped to his body while running the London marathon and if his speed drops less than a few miles per hour, the bomb will explode, taking out the US ambassador who also happens to be running nearby.

The plot interested me as I did quite like the Speed films, and I also loved the Father Ted episode with the milkfloat. Back to Dead Spy Running, the bombing is just the very start, afterwards we have a fast paced international chase to get the bad guys. Of course, the spy's a paranoid loner and has some issues, and everyone thinks he's responsible for the bombing. All good spy novel stuff.

If you're a fan of spy novels, it ticks all the boxes. Fast paced, secrets and gadgets, and twists and turns galore. I don't usually give marks out of 5, but there's better books out there and there's also worse, so I guess it's a 3.

Bakewell Book Signing

I've got a book signing coming up at Bakewell Book Shop on 20th July. It would be good to meet anyone who's in the area.

Also, Paul D Brazill interveiwed me over at his place, http://pauldbrazill.wordpress.com/2013/07/02/short-sharp-interview-charlie-wade/ 

Lowdham Book Festival

Took a little trip out on Saturday to the Lowdham Book Festival. I have to admit, I've never been before despite it being only a half hour drive away. I've also never really been to a book or literary festival before, so it was a good chance to take a look round and see what actually happens at these sort of things.

Anyway, long story short, had a great afternoon. Unfortunately the events were full so we couldn't get into any of the talks etc, but we had a look round met some very nice people including another local author, found out about Writing East Midlands, and I bought a signed copy of John Harvey's Flesh and Blood.

It made me wonder how many other book festivals there are out there. A quick google search shows loads throughout the year and that's just locally (Buxton Festival coming up soon). Go an hour or two away and you could probably catch one most weekends.

Ten Questions - Paul D. Brazill

Interviews are great but sometimes they don't ask the important questions, the nitty-gritty if you like. I'm starting an irregular series of interviews where the questions we want answers to are finally asked.

First up, the legend that is Mr Paul D. Brazill. The godfather of Brit Grit, wherever you find Noir, Pulp and Grit on the internet, he'll be lurking nearby.

Tiswas or Swap Shop?

Swap Shop. We couldn’t get Tiswas on Tyne Tees telly. It was a southern thing.


What's your latest book about?

This is what the publishers Byker Books say:

'Guns Of Brixton by Paul D Brazill is a tale of dirty rotten scoundrels engaged in what they do best. Stealing, killing and setting each other up. Think ‘Lock, Stock...’ crossed with ‘Love, Honour and Obey’ and you won’t go far wrong.  An absolute treat.'

Chips and cheese or chips and gravy?

Gravy. Chips and cheese is too continental.


Where do you write?

Wherever I plug in the lap top.


Bungle or Zippy?

Zippy. I worked with a bloke that was like Bungle and he was a twot.

Is your writing inspired by real events or does it come from a dark place in your head?

It’s a mish-mash of both. Reality with a twist.


A Team or Knight Rider?

A- Team and I pity the fool who says otherwise.



Physical book or e-book?

Horses for courses. If it has a tasty cover then physical book but ebook for eease.

Prisoner Cell block H or H from Steps?

Prisoner. Vinegar Tits specifically.

Where can we find you?

In the blog house: http://pauldbrazill.wordpress.com/

You can also find Paul's work on his amazon page http://www.amazon.co.uk/Paul-D-Brazill/e/B004D5CFYW/

and Byker Books can be found at http://www.bykerbooks.co.uk